I'm now 28 years old, 281 lbs (as of this morning), 5'9" tall.
This morning, I started a 1 day juice cleanse. By 10am, only 2 juices in, I gave up. I ate a bowl of chicken tortilla soup before I picked my son up from preschool. Then I went to the drive thru and had a hamburger, fried zucchini, and Diet Coke. So much for a reboot.
I have a really hard time forgiving myself and moving on. I know that tomorrow is a new day, but I just can't seem to get past the failure of today and move forward with better choices. For me, food and eating is purely mental. I eat when I'm bored, tired, happy, sad, nervous, upset - you name it. I find it exhausting to constantly fight with myself (in my head) about food. So, I give in and do what I think is easiest - eat.
Last week I went to a doctor's appointment for a refill of my birth control. My last visit was in April and they wanted me to come back to make sure my blood pressure hadn't risen. I was SHOCKED when the doctor told me I had gained 20 pounds since my last visit! How could I have gained that much and NOT EVEN KNOW IT?? Am I that oblivious to what I'm doing to myself? Talk about embarrassed.
I know the foods I SHOULD be eating. I know what exercises I SHOULD be doing. WHY aren't I doing it?! I don't know. It's a daily struggle that I seem to be destined to lose day after day...or do I?
Tomorrow is a new day.
Every day is a new day! I have days where j binge on everything and have no control...it happens to everyone! Start small! Try to add in a small healthy snack throughout the day like a banana with almond butter on toast or try to eat six meals a day. It s a process! You can do it :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Amanda! It's SO helpful to know I'm not the only one that struggles with food. And that snack sounds DELISH! :)
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